So this is what happens when I give myself a day off for writing... shame.
Meet Hubert. Named for the professor in Futurama.
Hubert is made with felt, embroidery thread, little button eyes, and some stuffing my dog pulled out of his bed. My plan is to keep him in my handbag and pull him out during awkward social situations, though he'll probably just stay sitting on my desk beside my printer. he's about 8cm long, 6.5cm tall, and 5cm wide.
Hubert and I are now off to work on that short story I've been neglecting.